I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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