idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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