Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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