is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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