Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can text with my tongue
i barfeds in our rink
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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