I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
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I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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