Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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