Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize