THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
