So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
