is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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