I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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