She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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