So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
