I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
