dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
