just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize