I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's blow job season.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
