It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
