I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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