This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it because I queefed?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
