I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize