Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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