when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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