literally had 100 drinks last night.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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