Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
