Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
