Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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