I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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