Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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