Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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