It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
