you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
