I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
