operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
