: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the condom got lost in my hair
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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