wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
