$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
