I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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