Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
