her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize