Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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