You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
