dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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