i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
