I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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