Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
...so i touched it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize