is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
