if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
