So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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