So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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