Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
