ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
