I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
