He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's blow job season.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
