I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
