I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
