'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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