WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
